i have started this post 5 different times now, and apparently i'm tired of a lot, because it goes in a different direction each time. everything from:

i am tired of not sleeping through the night


i am tired of thrashing. 

 and everything in between.

but this morning i am finding myself wanting to make a declaration out of it.


{{{i am tired of letting fear and shame win.}}}



it is a daily battle, and my soul has so long known the hunched over deformity of carrying the weight of shame, that it's too easy to slide right back into shouldering it, when this shame? it isn't mine. it is a lie. 

but it's comfortable to me. 

it's what i've always known.

so, to choose the truth [of my worth] is always a battle, and i always enter it with fear. there is so much to be afraid of. failing, succeeding, being wrong, being arrogant,  being unseen, being intimate. being misunderstood.

but, today, i am taking that risk.

after all, my name is Braveheart.


AuthorJamie Bonilla